


I see you, you see me

by emmerrr



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Gen, Implied sexy-times in literally the only way I can write it, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, which means it's barely mentioned and blink and you'll miss it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 15:38:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12213807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: Snapshots of Adam and Ronan's relationship from their first meeting and beyond.





	I see you, you see me

**Author's Note:**

> I had an anonymous prompt on tumblr which said: Prompt for pynch if you're interested: snippets of Adam checking out Ronan, from pre-series (even before they met and Adam just saw Ronan around school) to post-canon (well into their marriage).
> 
> it turns out that I don't really know how to write that ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I tried and it just wasn't happening and it turned into this instead. there's elements of the original prompt, but it just. . . it really really got away from me. oh well, go big or go home I guess! I hope you enjoy! <3

    

Adam’s very first class of his very first day at Aglionby is World History, and he’s the first to arrive. He takes a seat by the window near the back of the room, perches his elbow on the desk to prop his chin up with his hand, and peers outside at the courtyard, watching the hustle-bustle of students heading to their classes.

 

He’s not here to make friends; Aglionby is his ticket out of Henrietta and all he wants to do is keep his head down and work hard. That being said, his stomach is in knots as he hears the approaching voices of his new classmates.

 

Cutting his gaze to the door is a natural reflex as a couple of boys enter the room, mid-conversation as they discuss what they did over the summer, and Adam feels himself tense as they notice him. But their eyes glance off him and away as they sit down, and he’s both relieved and offended by the casual dismissal.

 

The classroom gradually fills and by the time the teacher arrives, there are only two empty chairs; the one directly in front of Adam and the one next to it. The seat next to Adam is now occupied by a boy who introduced himself as Tad Carruthers, the kind of name Adam thought only existed on shitty teen dramas. He’s the only person who has said a word to Adam and he seems friendly enough, happy to carry the conversation despite Adam offering him little more than nods or monosyllabic answers. He wonders if perhaps being ignored is preferable.

 

Luckily, class then begins and brings an end to the forced socialisation. The teacher does the obligatory start of a new school year admin, and just as he’s wrapping up two more boys show up, almost five minutes late.

 

They’re both impressive specimens but in completely different ways. The one in front looks like a future president or CEO, so immaculately dressed that Adam reaches subconsciously for the tiny tear on the shoulder seam of his second-hand jumper, covering it with his fingers. This boy looks entirely at ease in a way that Adam never is, and it’s all topped off with perfect hair. Artfully tousled, Adam wants to say, and then can’t believe the phrase even crossed his mind.

 

The second boy is taller, with a shaved head and derisive eyebrows and an expression of utter disinterest on his face as he casts his gaze across the classroom. His uniform is somewhat more bedraggled than that of his companion, but he wears it well and it annoys Adam to no end. His shirt’s untucked, top two buttons clearly undone from where his tie is knotted loosely and carelessly. He catches Adam’s eye, and Adam can’t quite look away. His eyebrows raise slightly, clearly at seeing someone he doesn’t recognise, but then he continues tracking the room.

 

If his friend is classically handsome, then this one’s  _savagely_  handsome. They make quite the pair.

 

“Richard Gansey,” the teacher says to the newcomers, “and Ronan Lynch. How nice of you to join us.” The tone is a little tetchy and Adam actually agrees with the sentiment — how hard is it to be on time on the first day? All the same, he prepares himself for the secondhand discomfort that comes from other people being told off in front of you.

 

It doesn’t come.

 

The boy who entered the room first — Richard, apparently — smiles at the teacher and it’s disarming; even Adam can feel it from nearer the back of the classroom. Quiet chatter has broken out during the distraction and so he can’t quite hear what Richard says, but the teacher’s demeanor changes almost instantly. They look like they’re the best of friends somehow, like this kid’s somehow managed to subvert a potential telling off to a social call, and Adam’s not sure how he’s done it. It’s a trick he wants to learn.

 

While Richard keeps the teacher occupied, the other boy — Ronan — starts to move. There’s only two seats he can pick from, and he decides on the one that puts him right in front of Adam. He flings his bag across the desk like it’s personally offended him and all but throws himself into the chair.

 

He tilts it back so it’s on two legs and Adam sees the top of what looks to be a very intricate tattoo creeping up towards his neck, out of his collar.

 

Adam finds himself wanting to see the rest of it, and he swallows thickly, shaking his head to try and dislodge the thought.

 

“Lynch,” says Tad Carruthers from Adam’s right. “Good summer?”

 

With painstaking slowness, Ronan tilts his head so he’s almost looking at Tad upside down. He says nothing but he doesn’t need to in order to get his message across, and Tad laughs nervously then looks away. They are clearly not friends.

 

Ronan smirks and it’s a good look on him, even from this angle.

 

Adam doesn’t realise he’s still staring until Ronan catches his eye again. He hurriedly glances out of the window; he’s got nothing to be embarrassed about anyway. Ronan’s chair is tilted back so far that he’s practically in Adam’s space as it is, but he can still feel Ronan’s eyes on him.

 

“Put your chair down, Ronan, you’ll break your neck,” says a voice, and Adam looks around to see Richard taking his seat next to Ronan.

 

Ronan instantly does as he’s told and faces back towards the front of the classroom, and Adam wonders at that easy acquiescence in the light of the encounter he just witnessed with Tad. But then the teacher is calling for everyone’s attention once again, and Adam pushes it to the back of his mind.

 

He’s not here to make friends. And he’s definitely not here to get distracted by angry hot boys.

 

Definitely not.

* * *

After the last bell rings, Adam hurries to his locker to pick up and drop off what he does and doesn’t need, then makes his way across to the grassy knoll opposite the tennis courts where he said he’d meet Gansey after school.

 

_Gansey_. Adam repeats it over and over in his mind, ingraining it so he doesn’t accidentally slip and call him Richard.

 

It’s been sort of a whirlwind of a day for Adam. It was a risk, stopping to offer his assistance when he spotted Gansey with his broken down Camaro at the side of the road, but it’s one that he’s feeling pretty pleased he took at the moment.

 

_What do you know about Welsh kings?_

 

Well, not much to be honest, but Adam’s eager to learn. He’s tentative to call Gansey his friend, but it’s hard not to feel like that’s where this is heading. He sat with Gansey and Ronan at lunch, and although Ronan did little more than glare and exude distrust and hostility, Gansey’s enthusiastic exuberance and apparent complete sincerity in his interest to hear what Adam had to say more than made up for it.

 

When Adam gets to the little hill, Gansey is already there and sitting on the grass, and he smiles up at Adam and holds out his fist. Adam bumps it with his own and feels a rush of comradely joy. It’s not a feeling he’s familiar with, but he likes it.

 

He dithers for a few seconds before sitting down. It’s been dry enough lately that getting grass stains on his school trousers is unlikely, but not impossible, and Adam doesn’t have another pair. But then again he’s got a few tricks up his sleeves getting stubborn stains out of his work overalls, and can deal with it if it happens. He sucks it up and sits down before Gansey notices his hesitance.

 

He’s not entirely sure why this is where Gansey arranged to meet, but it soon becomes clear when Ronan takes to the tennis court with an instructor, obviously about to start a tennis lesson.

 

Ronan’s ever-present leather bands are pushed even further up his arms by the white wrist-bands he’s affixed, and his top is gray and sleeveless and a little on the baggy side, more of his tattoo on display than Adam’s ever seen.

 

All he can think to say is, “I didn’t know Ronan played tennis.”

 

Gansey looks up from his journal, distracted. “Hm? Oh, yeah. He’s pretty good, actually. He’s been in lessons since he was younger.”

 

Ronan glances over at them then, and pointedly ignores Gansey’s cheerful wave before returning his attention to his instructor, and Adam somehow understands that they’re here for Ronan’s benefit. So that Ronan can see them and know they’re not off somewhere having fun without him. A way for Ronan to be included, at least as much as he possibly can be whilst in the middle of a tennis lesson.

 

He feels like he’s starting to understand something important about how Gansey and Ronan work, and he recognises it as a privilege not many get to see.

 

Gansey starts going through some of his notes, and Adam follows along easily enough until he hears the unmistakable sound of a ball rocketing across court. He glances up and Ronan’s busy practicing serves. Adam watches the next one. Ronan bounces the ball twice, perfunctory, then in one smooth movement tosses the ball high, jumps a little, and swings hard. The ball rockets over the net, bouncing on the opposite side and rebounding off the wall. It’s so fast that Adam can’t really track it, and he lets out a low whistle almost without really realising he’s doing it.

 

“Did you _see_ that?” he says when Gansey looks up at the sound. “So fast. He hits it so hard, I’m surprised he can keep control of where it’s going.”

 

“Ronan does everything hard and fast,” Gansey says with a shrug, so nonchalantly that he clearly hasn’t registered exactly how that sounds.

 

Adam can’t help it; a helpless laugh bubbles out of him, and it’s then that Gansey’s brain catches up with his mouth. His ears turn pink. “Oh, no. In no way did I mean that like it sounds.”

 

Adam’s well aware of that, but it still takes a moment to rein the laughter in, and then Gansey starts laughing too. Adam can’t remember the last time he laughed like this, which is a depressing thought in and of itself. That reminder is enough to curb his amusement. Well, that and looking back to the court to see Ronan scowling up at him.

 

Adam stares back, refusing to let Ronan try and intimidate him or scare him off. He doesn’t need to feel bad about laughing or making a friend. Gansey follows Adam’s gaze and he and Ronan exchange a look; whatever Ronan reads on Gansey’s face makes him turn away back to his lesson and Adam watches him go. The next serve he hits crashes into the net and Ronan swears loudly and creatively. Adam’s lips quirk involuntarily.

 

“So,” Gansey says brightly, redirecting Adam’s attention, and when Adam looks at him, his eyes are gleaming and excited. “Glendower.”

* * *

 

Adam is quick to be ingratiated to Gansey’s little group after being taken back to Monmouth Manufacturing and meeting Noah, Gansey’s other roommate.

 

Ronan remains prickly for a while, but Adam stands his ground, and prolonged exposure works wonders for smoothing over cracks. Every time Adam says or does something that seems to get even the tiniest hints of approval from Ronan it feels like a big victory, and it’s a little embarrassing how good it makes Adam feel.

 

For the first time in his life, Adam _almost_ feels like he belongs, and it’s not something he wants to give up.

 

Of course, Adam’s life is a complicated thing, and it isn’t long before Gansey in particular starts to ask questions about the bruises Adam isn’t always successful at hiding. He doesn’t come to school when they’re really bad, but this too is suspicious, especially when Gansey knows where he lives and can track him down.

 

Admitting what’s been happening is one of the hardest things Adam’s ever done, made even worse by the pity and righteous anger that Gansey feels on his behalf. To Gansey, everything will be solved if Adam moves in with him, but he doesn’t understand why Adam can’t just do that. Why he doesn’t _want_ to.

 

He doesn’t need Gansey to fix his situation. He needs to save himself.

 

That being said, it is nice to have Monmouth to escape to for the afternoon, if just to get him out of his father’s way.

 

On one such occasion when Adam’s sporting a particularly nasty bruise high on his right cheekbone, he forgoes school and cycles over to Monmouth once Gansey will be out, taking him up on his unlimited invitation for Adam to drop by anytime. Adam has work in a few hours and would rather spend them with his friends than at home, trying to avoid his father.

 

Noah lets Adam in, winces sympathetically but thankfully says nothing and then disappears into his room. Ronan is nowhere to be seen but Gansey is sitting on his bed, journal open in front of him, and his concern is harder to ward off.

 

“Adam—”

 

“It’s fine, Gansey.” It’s not and Adam knows it, but it’s all he can say.

 

“You can—”

 

“ _No_.”

 

Gansey opens his mouth again, but Adam shakes his head firmly. Gansey closes his mouth but looks mightily unhappy about it. Luckily, he allows Adam to distract him with Glendower related plans and questions, and they wile away an hour or so like that.

 

At some point, Gansey heads to the kitchen/bathroom to make a couple of sandwiches, and it’s then that Ronan gets home, slamming the door hard enough that the frame rattles.

 

Ronan’s never met a door he hasn’t slammed.

 

He walks over to Gansey’s bed and stops in front Adam, who can do nothing but look back. His bruise is there for everyone to see; there’s no sense hiding it, and there’s no sense pretending it isn’t there. Ronan’s expression does something complicated but Adam doesn’t know what it means. Then he says, “You weren’t at school today, Parrish.”

 

“No,” Adam agrees, although privately thinks it’s a bit rich of Ronan to point that out considering he skips as often as he shows up. “You’re late back. Where’ve you been?”

 

“I was with Matthew.” Then he leans down, closer to Adam’s face to get a really good look, and Adam gives in to the scrutiny. He doesn’t know why. But he can feel Ronan’s breath on his cheek and he’s frozen.

 

Abruptly, Ronan swears and sits down. “ _Jesus_ , Adam,” he says, and it’s a shock because Adam’s pretty sure it’s the first time Ronan’s called him by his first name. He doesn’t know what to say.

 

There’s nothing _to_ say.

 

They sit in silence, listening instead to Gansey rustling about in the kitchen/bathroom. Then Ronan says, without looking at Adam, “Let me teach you how to fight.”

 

Adam closes his eyes and sighs. He can’t explain how that would just make it worse; how his father has a gun at home and Adam doesn’t know what line he’d have to cross for him to use it, but he’s afraid to find out. How, as awful as it is, it’s easier in the long run to just let it happen and try and keep his head down. He can’t say all of that. So instead, he just says, “No.”

 

It’s Ronan’s turn to sigh, but he sounds resigned like he knew that’s what Adam would say. He gets up and makes his way over to his room, hesitating in the doorway before half-turning to look at Adam.

 

“It’s a standing offer,” he says gruffly. “If you ever need it.”

 

Adam knows he’ll never take Ronan up on it as much as he appreciates the sentiment, but before he can say thank you anyway, Ronan’s already gone inside his room, shutting the door behind him.

 

Gansey comes out of the kitchen/bathroom, a plate of sandwiches in his hand. He looks from Adam to Ronan’s closed door and frowns. “Everything okay?” He probably thinks they’ve fought again.

 

“Everything’s fine, Gansey.”

* * *

 

A lot happens in a very short period of time.

 

Gansey’s the first to talk to Blue (as disastrous a conversation as it is) but Adam’s the one who brings her into the group, and that’s when everything seems to click. Adam’s gigantic crush aside, she’s the psychic’s daughter, and it’s her voice on Gansey’s tape. They find Cabeswater, they plan to wake the ley line. It’s all _happening_.

 

But then they find out the horrible truth about Noah and what Whelk did to him, Adam’s dad quite literally knocks the hearing from Adam’s left ear, Ronan throws a few punches and nearly gets himself arrested, and Adam presses charges.

 

He takes everything into his own hands then, by sacrificing them. He’ll be Cabeswater’s hands and eyes, and he stops Whelk and wakes the ley line himself. He’s changed, he can feel it, it itches underneath his skin. He feels powerful but he doesn’t know how to use that power and he doesn’t know what it means yet.

 

Ronan helps him get his foot in the door at St. Agnes and he arranges to live in the flat above, and Adam feels better out of Monmouth. There’s nothing to the little flat, but it’s Adam’s; he’s the one paying the rent with the money that _he_ earned at his various jobs.

 

Oh yeah, and Ronan can pull shit out of his dreams. Because of _course_ he fucking can.

 

It’s a rocky and frightening time for Adam to adjust to his new situation that culminates in a confrontation with Blue that finally puts a definitive end to whatever it was they had, followed by Persephone nudging Adam in the right direction to — in Maura’s words — “balance his insides with his outsides” so that he knows _he’s_ the one in control, not Cabeswater.

 

He feels better afterwards, but he’s still. . . other, somehow. Separate from his friends even though they pretend like he’s not.

 

Ronan, surprisingly enough, is the one who most manages to keep Adam on an even keel. They fight because it’s what they do; it’s familiar, it’s a routine, and it makes Adam feel like he’s still Adam. It’s not like the fights with Gansey or Blue that leave him anxious all over.

 

It’s not all fights with Ronan, though. The impromptu sleepovers at St. Agnes have been happening ever since Adam moved in there, so much so that it actually starts to feel a little strange when Ronan stays away.

 

It takes Adam a little longer than it perhaps should to realise that the way Ronan looks at him isn’t quite the same as it used to be. When Adam lifts his eyes, Ronan’s almost always glancing away already, like he doesn’t want to be caught staring even though Adam knows he was.

 

He knows what it means. Or, scratch that, he _thinks_ he knows what it means, but he’s afraid to put words to it. Because it doesn’t make sense, not really; he’s just Adam Parrish, and Ronan could have his pick of _anyone_ probably.

 

Adam’s both flattered and disbelieving, and ashamed that he feels either of those things.

 

He’s still not entirely sure that he's not just projecting until Ronan breaks into his car and leaves dream hand-cream on the seat. They don’t talk about it afterwards, but it sends a pretty strong message.

 

Adam doesn’t think he’ll ever stop being surprised by how much Ronan pays attention to the little things.

 

It seems inevitable that Adam starts looking back. And really, maybe he has been for a while now. He wonders if Ronan’s picked up on it; he _must_ have done.

 

But it doesn’t make anything less complicated. Knowing Ronan is an option only makes things more _difficult;_ Adam’s been waiting his whole life to leave this godforsaken town, he never planned on finding anything here worth staying for. And he _won’t_ stay, he _can’t_. Yet there’s a bite of possibility here that Adam can’t ignore.

 

And then Ronan kisses Adam in his bedroom on his 18th birthday, and it’s everything Adam’s been waiting for without realising it.

 

Maybe leaving doesn’t have to mean never coming back.

* * *

 

Once they’re officially together, looking at Ronan takes on a whole new meaning.

 

It’s not that Adam’s new to sneaking glances, because he’s not and he was always better at it than Ronan anyway. It’s just that he definitively knows what it means now, and he’s _allowed_ to look.

 

It means he can be appreciative in a whole new way.

 

He can act on things now. Not _everything_ obviously, it’s still early days. But when they’re walking side by side and their shoulders bump together, it’s okay to tentatively link their fingers together. Or when he looks up and notices Ronan watching him from across the room, he can smile and acknowledge the attention.

 

It’s nice to put words and actions to the feeling. It’s nice to be wanted, and fuck, it’s nice to _want_. To know _what_ he wants.

 

It’s also nice to know that now if Adam ever calls, Ronan’s actually pretty likely to pick up, or to at least call back. Which is why it’s unnerving when, a week or so after school is back in session following the Christmas vacation, Adam suddenly can’t get through to him.

 

He still doesn’t have a cellphone which makes things difficult to begin with as it means he’s restricted to either using the phone in the office of St. Agnes, the phone at work, or Gansey’s. But still, it’s two days of radio silence, and Gansey hasn’t been able to get in touch with Ronan either.

 

Adam doesn’t want to just swing by the Barns unannounced, but he will if he has to. Luckily, on what he swears will be his last attempt before doing just that, there’s a click as someone picks up on the other end.

 

Adam hears nothing but rustling and shuffling for a few seconds, then says, “Hello? Ronan?”

 

“Adam!” says Opal’s voice, but distantly, like she hasn’t got the phone to her ear.

 

“Opal, I can’t hear you that well, put the phone to your ear!”

 

It takes a minute, but Opal gets the hang of it eventually, and Adam asks her where Ronan is.

 

“He’s leaking,” Opal says.

 

“He’s. . . he’s _what?”_

 

“He’s leaking. From his nose. It’s disgusting.”

 

“Ohhh,” Adam says, and he laughs a little. “Oh, okay. Does he have a cold, Opal?”

 

Opal makes an ‘I dunno’ noise which she definitely picked up from Ronan, but then there’s mumbling in the background and more shuffling as Opal (hopefully) hands the phone over.

 

“Parrish?” Ronan says, and he sounds awful.

 

“Ronan, I’ve been trying to get through to you for two days, are you okay?”

 

“I’ve been better. I’ve basically been in a fuckin' coma the last couple of days, I’m sorry I didn’t call.” He sounds snuffly and tired and Adam wants to see him really badly.

 

He manages to get Ronan to admit he’s running low on cold medicine, so Adam hops in the shitbox, detours to the store for a few scant replies, then makes the drive over to Singers Falls.

 

He knocks just to let them know he’s arrived but lets himself in, following the sounds of hacking coughs to the living room where Ronan is bundled on the couch, half-hidden under what looks like every single blanket in the entire house.

 

It’s really fucking cute.

 

“Hey,” Adam says, and Ronan lifts his head weakly.

 

“Hi.” He motions to the bag in Adam’s hand. “Thanks, Parrish.” His voice is hoarse from coughing and he looks utterly miserable, and Adam resolves that he’s going to take care of him. Ronan reaches for a tissue and blows his nose noisily.

 

Adam can’t help but grin. “You have never looked sexier.”

 

“Leave me alone, Adam, I’m _dying_ here,” Ronan whines, and that's how Adam knows just how rotten he's feeling if he's resorting to whining. Ronan's v’s and m’s have turned into b’s in his cold-stuffed state and he huddles further in on himself.

 

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry,” Adam says. He goes over and presses the back of his hand to Ronan’s forehead; he’s a little warm and clammy, but at least doesn’t seem to have a fever. “I’m gonna make you a hot lemon and honey.”

 

“That sounds fuckin’ amazing.”

 

Adam takes his little shopping bag to the kitchen and finds Opal in there, sitting on the table. She has a stick of butter in her hand which she’s steadily making her way through, wrapper included.

 

“Opal, no.” He tries to take it off her but she clutches it close to her chest, and Adam decides that this is a battle for a later time. Opal has so far seemed capable of eating literally anything, after all.

 

He puts the kettle on to boil and busies himself chopping some lemon, then pours a generous amount of honey into a mug. Opal puts her butter down and slides off the table to come and investigate, and Adam takes the opportunity to surreptitiously throw the butter away. Opal doesn’t notice and she soon flounces off outside to find something more interesting to do.

 

Once he’s finished Ronan’s drink, Adam takes it back through to the living room. Ronan’s eyes are closed but his periodic sniffs imply that he’s still awake, and he opens them again when Adam gently sits on the sofa near his head.

 

He pulls himself into a sitting position, wincing and grumbling as he does, and the sudden level of care Adam feels rush through him takes him by surprise. He wishes he could make Ronan feel better; it’s frustrating that he can’t.

 

He passes the hot lemon and honey over and Ronan takes a tiny sip before offering Adam a tiny smile. “It’s good. Thanks, Parrish.”

 

“No problem.”

 

Adam’s brought homework with him, because he’s still Adam Parrish and that’s how he rolls, so while Ronan is drinking quietly he takes his notes out of his bag to do some studying.

 

“You don’t have to stay,” Ronan mumbles after a while. “I don’t wanna make you sick.”

 

“I’ll take my chances,” Adam replies. There’s no way he’s leaving now, not when he’s seen how awful Ronan feels. It’s clearly the right answer as Ronan makes no further comment, and when he’s drained his drink and put it back on the table, he puts a cushion in Adam’s lap and rests his head on it.

 

“Is this okay?” he asks thickly, eyes already closing.

 

“Yeah, Ronan.” Adam traces a finger along the edge of Ronan’s ear. “Get some rest.”

 

As Ronan settles in to sleep, safe under Adam’s watchful eye, Adam sort of thinks he might be in love.

 

But thinking about that can wait for another day.

* * *

 

Going to college is an adjustment. It is for everyone, Adam supposes, but he privately thinks he has it more difficult than everyone else.

 

In all fairness, he’s not the only student who has a boyfriend (or girlfriend) back home and is suddenly having to adjust to long distance, but no one else is in a relationship with _Ronan_. No one else has been through what Adam and Ronan have, and so he doesn’t think it’s the same.

 

He’s slow to make friends because that’s another adjustment; going from a group that’s as close-knit as he and Ronan and Gansey and Blue, and Henry now are, to suddenly having none of them even in the same state anymore. He's having to make small-talk with people who it seems like he has nothing in common with and he hates it.

 

His roommate is nice though. His name is Joe and when he notices Adam retreating further into himself he makes it his mission to coax Adam out of his shell and drags Adam to the cafeteria to eat with him and his friends. As reticent as Adam is, it works out quite well, because he likes Joe, and Joe’s friends are cool and Adam finds he likes them, too.

 

It’s not the same, but it’s a new circle of friends. Separate from the ones he holds most dear, but they keep the loneliness at bay.

 

It’s a while before Ronan makes his first visit, by which point Adam’s new friends have heard all about him. Well, not _all_ about him obviously, but they know _of_ him. From the somewhat secretive way Adam talks about him, he’s often affectionately referred to within the friend group as ‘Adam’s cryptid boyfriend’, and honestly, sometimes it feels like they’re not far off.

 

Ronan’s not due to arrive until later in the night and so Adam goes with his friends to eat in the early evening, practically bouncing off the walls with nervous excitement. When they’re finished they make their way out of the cafeteria as a group, and it’s Joe’s girlfriend, Sophie, who stops short.

 

“Who,” she says, pointing across the courtyard, “is _that?”_

 

Leaning against the wall of Adam’s dorm-building looking almost like a shadow dressed all in black with Chainsaw perching on his shoulder, is Ronan, a good two hours early which is no doubt thanks to his blatant disregard of speed limits.

 

Adam feels the grin spread across his face. “That’s Ronan,” he says, and he can hear the blatant affection in his voice.

 

“What the fuck, Adam,” says Joe. “Is that a crow?”

 

“She’s a _raven_ ,” Adam says, offended on Chainsaw’s behalf, but before anyone else can ask anymore questions, he’s running.

 

Ronan hadn’t noticed him at first but he doesn’t take long, and as soon as he spots Adam running towards him he grins sharply as Chainsaw takes off seconds before Adam flings his arms around Ronan’s neck.

 

“You’re _early_ , you asshole,” Adam says through a breathless laugh.

 

“Well excuse me, Parrish, I can leave for a couple of hours if you want,” Ronan says, but he’s holding Adam like he never wants to let go, and Adam never wants him to.

 

“No, it’s alright, I’ll suffer through the extra time.”

 

Ronan laughs and it ruffles Adam’s hair. “Um, Adam, there’s a small group of people staring at us,” he says after a moment.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Adam says without letting go of Ronan or turning around. “Those are my friends. Wave to my friends, Ronan.”

 

“Do I have to?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Ronan sighs, but releases one hand so he can give them a half-hearted wave. “Oh shit,” he says. “They’re coming _over_ now. I accidentally encouraged them.”

 

Adam lets go reluctantly and is relieved when Ronan takes his hand; he’s clearly not the only one who has missed the proximity.

 

Adam’s friends reach them and introductions are passed around. Ronan isn’t openly hostile but he doesn’t really smile, and it’s interesting for Adam to be able to see things from both sides. He remembers seeing Ronan around school before they’d properly met, and then during Adam’s induction to the Glendower quest before he and Ronan became tentative friends. He remembers how intimidating Ronan can seem, and feels all the more privileged that he’s the one who gets to see Ronan at his kindest; at his softest.

 

“Not gonna lie, Adam,” Sophie says, “there was a part of me that definitely thought you’d made him up.”

 

Ronan actually laughs at that. “Nah. Parrish’s imagination isn’t that good.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Fuck _you_.”

 

Adam curls into Ronan with a grin and immediately wants to get him alone. Luckily, Joe has already said he’ll spend the weekend in Sophie’s room, giving Adam and Ronan some privacy.

 

“We’re uh, we’re gonna go,” Adam says, turning back to his friends. “We’ll see you later.”

 

He starts leading Ronan away by the hand and hears Joe call after them, “Have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t!”

 

There are plenty of eyes on them on their way to Adam’s room. Ronan’s always drawn eyes everywhere he goes anyway; he’s hot in a scary way if you don’t know him, just plain hot if you do, and Adam feels like he’s been waiting years for this moment even though it’s only been a couple of months.

 

So he lets Ronan press him down on his bed, lets his hands wander and loses himself in the moment, soaking up every hitched breath, every helpless little moan. He fills his head with Ronan and Ronan alone.

 

They only have the weekend, and Adam doesn’t want to waste a second.

* * *

 

“Here, Adam, let me,” Gansey says when Adam fails to knot his tie right for the third time.

 

Adam drops his hands to his sides and lets Gansey get on with it. He can feel his heart racing in his chest but thinks he’s just about managing to keep his features neutral. He’s anxious but in a good way; it’s with anticipation, not dread.

 

Today is Adam and Ronan’s wedding day.

 

It feels like it’s been a long time coming but Adam also can’t quite believe it’s here. He wants to savor every moment and he wants it to be over. He wants to start their lives together, properly. He wants it to be official. He can’t wait to call Ronan his husband.

 

Gansey finishes Adam’s tie then busies himself straightening Adam’s collar and flattening the lapels on his suit jacket.

 

“Gansey,” Adam says with a smile. “I think I’m good.”

 

Gansey sighs and takes a step back, giving Adam a once over and inspecting his handiwork. “Yes,” Gansey says, and his own smile is dangerously wobbly. “Yes, I think you are.”

 

His eyes are starting to water and Adam shakes his head firmly. “No, don’t.”

 

“I’m not doing anything,” Gansey replies indignantly, but his voice is a little thick and he starts blinking furiously.

 

“Gansey, you promised you’d hold it together, at least until the ceremony,” Adam urges. “Fuck, you’ll set _me_ off.”

 

“Argh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He gives up all pretense and pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket, dabbing at his eyes. “I’m just really happy for you.” Gansey sniffs gallantly and as touched as Adam is, it makes him laugh a little. It cuts through the nerves. Gansey glares at him over his handkerchief. “Well, I’m glad you think this is funny.”

 

“Good. Because I do.”

 

They’re interrupted by a sharp knock at the door and Blue calls out, “You decent?” before barging in without waiting for a response. She grins at Adam in approval, and then zeros in on Gansey’s hanky. “Oh, come _on_ , Gansey, waterworks already?”

 

Gansey’s not really paying attention though, too distracted by Blue herself. His gasp is utterly sincere as he says, “Jane, you are an absolute vision in emerald.”

 

“You really are,” Adam agrees.

 

“Why, thank you.” Her dress has, of course, been given the Blue Sargent treatment. Adam was with her when she picked it out in a thrift store and whilst it was nice plain, it’s been much improved. It is now not only asymmetrical, but has been bedazzled with sequins running along the hem. The look is completed with a flower-crown, fishnet tights and brown combat boots. Perfect.

 

“I’m here for you, actually,” she says to Gansey. “Ronan wants a word.”

 

“Oh, good,” Gansey says brightly. “Good. Yes.” He looks to Adam. “You okay here?”

 

Adam smiles and glances at Blue. “I think I’m in good hands, thanks.” Blue does jazz-hands to confirm this.

 

Gansey nods his agreement then walks out with a spring in his step.

 

Technically speaking, Gansey is Adam’s best man and Blue is Ronan’s, but in practice it’s sort of a free-for-all, which suits all parties just fine. They’re all on the same side at the end of the day. They’re all family.

 

Blue comes over and stands in front of Adam. “Look at you,” she says. “Ronan’s gonna lose his shit.”

 

Adam laughs softly, and Blue starts brushing down his shoulders with her hands.

 

“Why do people do that?” Adam asks.

 

“Do what?”

 

“Brush down the suit, like you are.”

 

Blue snorts. “I have no idea. It’s the done thing, isn’t it?”

 

“I know, but I don’t get it. Is the suit dusty? Is it wrinkly?”

 

“No. Shut up, I’m being affectionate. And _you’re_ just blabbering to keep your brain busy.”

 

She’s so right and she knows him so well. So Adam asks what he really wants to. “How’s Ronan?” It comes out quieter than he means it to.

 

Blue gives him a knowing look. “He’s good, Adam. He’s excited.”

 

“What does he want with Gansey?”

 

“He probably wants to know how _you_ are.”

 

Adam suddenly misses Ronan so much even though he only saw him yesterday and is approximately twenty minutes away from marrying him. It’s an overwhelming want. “Blue, I want to see him. Can I see him?”

 

“Soon, Adam. But not yet,” she says gently. “It’s bad luck. And I know you’re not the most traditional of couples, but maybe you should stick with just this one?”

 

He sighs. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I just. . . I really can’t wait to marry him, Blue.”

 

Blue’s mouth falls open in a little ‘o’ and then she starts fanning her face rapidly. “Adam _Parrish_ , you cannot do this to me, I have a bet with Henry that I’ll hold in the tears at least until the speeches and I’m wearing winged eyeliner, he’ll _know_.”

 

Adam steps forward, alarmed. It’s _his_ wedding day, and yet so far he’s managed to inadvertently make both Gansey and Blue well up. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Uhhh, Ronan’s a prick, I can’t stand him.” Blue laughs a little. “Better?”

 

She nods and clears her throat, and she sounds less weepy when she speaks again. “Better. You’re such a terrible liar, though.”

 

Adam smiles. “Where _is_ Henry, anyway?”

 

“He was with Ronan, but I think he’s gone to mingle for a bit before it starts. Taking some photos and stuff.”

 

Adam nods. Ronan and Adam hadn’t wanted to hire an official photographer, preferring it to be done by someone they know and trust. Henry has always had what Gansey calls ‘a good eye’ and had seemed incredibly touched when Adam and Ronan asked if he’d be alright with taking a few photographs. He was in here earlier, snapping away while Adam and Gansey got ready.

 

They don’t really have that many guests. Ronan’s brothers are here, obviously, and Opal. A select few of Adam’s friends from college are in attendance, Joe and Sophie and the others; Helen is here too, as well as Maura, Calla, Orla and Jimi. Adam wishes Persephone were here and feels a pang. He reaches for Blue’s hand and they fall into an easy silence, looking out of the window together.

 

Adam’s phone buzzes on the window-sill and he picks it up, expecting well wishes from friends outside his inner circle. What he’s not expecting is for Ronan’s name to flash up on the display.

 

**\- gansey is a blubbering mess. the fuck did you do to him parrish?**

 

Adam smiles, calm and stillness settling over him as he types out a reply.

 

_\- I didn’t do anything. It’s an emotional day, lynch, haven’t you heard?_

 

**\- oh yeah, sounds vaguely familiar. anyway i’ll see you at the end of the aisle in 10. i’ll be the one in the top hat**

 

_\- … please tell me you’re joking_

 

**\- wouldn’t wanna spoil the surprise**

 

Adam snorts and puts his phone back down. Blue looks up at him. “It’s almost time. You ready?”

 

“Yeah. I’m _so_ ready. Just. . . can I ask one thing?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“How does he look?”

 

“He looks good, Adam.” Blue grins. “He looks really good.”

* * *

 

There’s a crack in the curtains letting the early morning sun shine through at such an angle that it hits Adam straight in the eyes and it’s why he’s now awake.

 

He could just get up and shut them properly and go back to sleep, but Ronan’s arm is warm and heavy around him, and Adam just doesn’t want to move.

 

He still can’t believe this is his life.

 

He smiles and shifts back, seeking more warmth, relishing the fact that he knows what’s going to happen.

 

This is how the next few minutes will go: Ronan, closely attuned to all things Adam, will slowly rise from his slumber. And as he does so, he’ll tighten his hold and edge forward, pressing his face into the back of Adam’s neck. He’ll dot gentle little kisses across Adam’s neck and shoulder, and then he’ll say, grumpy and morning-hoarse, “Why the _fuck_ are you awake?”

 

But he won’t complain when Adam twists in his grasp and turns to face him, then kisses the tired frown from his face. And then that’s them for the next hour or so, exchanging lazy kisses, tracing patterns over each other’s skin, enjoying the shared silence.

 

They have the freedom to just. . . _be_ , and they take full advantage.

 

There’s a beautiful mundanity to it, and Adam can never get enough.

 

As tempting as it is to stay in bed all day, however, Adam’s stomach rumbles loudly, cutting through the quiet. Ronan snorts. “Hungry?”

 

“ _Starving_.” Adam kisses Ronan’s shoulder then disentangles himself and gets out of bed. “I’m making waffles. Are you getting up?”

 

“In a minute,” Ronan grumbles. Adam pulls on sweatpants and a hoodie and Ronan rolls over onto his stomach. Adam takes in the strong planes of Ronan’s back, the sun shining across his tattoo in such a way that it looks like a spotlight. The sheet has ridden down so low that Adam can see the top of Ronan’s ass, and he whistles appreciatively.

 

“You objectifying me, Parrish?”

 

“That’s Parrish- _Lynch_ to you,” Adam says. “And yes. Yes I am.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> this has been edited but it's getting on for midnight now and I'm so sick of looking at this that there may still be little mistakes. I'll fix any typos I've missed tomorrow or over the weekend. :)


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